Last weekend I transferred my email to a new system in the cloud (did I really just say “in the cloud”??) and I came across an old email from my last “real” job. That was my only job ever where I worked in a cubicle, and it was awful for that and for so many other reasons.
Anyway, the email had a Top Ten list from David Letterman, from about September 2003. I hunted for the original list, and I found the list reposted many times, but not the original. And I decided I don’t like people who add a few more items to the list, because their items are never funny.
Without further ado, here’s…
Top Ten Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
10. Being told to “think outside the box” when you’re in a freakin’ box all day long.
9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who’s behind you.
8. Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you’ll get a piece of cheese.
6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.
4. 23 power cords – 1 outlet.
3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.
2. The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more signs of life than your coworkers.
And… the number 1 drawback to working in a cubicle….
1. You can’t slam the door on your way out when you quit.
AnnMaria says
I like #8. I had a colleague tell me that in meetings with crazy clients or co-workers I am the last person he wants in the room. He said, “Nothing personal, but you are really little and I want someone bigger enough to hide behind if Psycho Customer starts shooting.”
Michael Pennington says
Good stuff, Jon. I needed a laugh and I can definitely relate to these. We just went through a massive renovation at our home office and yet the 23 power chords, 1 outlet rule still applies. Love the think outside the box, now get in your box, reference, too. Good times, good times…
Steve Fleming says
Perfect timing. We are moving from offices to cubicles next week.
Woody says
Classic Jon !
brings back memories of the 4 man cubicle at ******** (you know where), with Ho to the left and JimS to the right, and shared table in between … which then evolved into the 4 man cubicle with aisles between.
weren’t those the days!
—Woody